Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?

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(954): View more from Florida

It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments

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(804): View more from Virginia

Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity

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(276): View more from Virginia

You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.

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(938): View more from

I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.

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(+27): View more from South Africa

I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down

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