I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
