I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
