I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
