the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
