Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
