Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
