I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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