she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
