Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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