I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
why is half of my head shaved?
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