I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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