Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Randomize
