so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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