I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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