Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
