Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
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