At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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