We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
