oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
