Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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