Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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