after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize