my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Randomize
