When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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