Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
