I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
