i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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