I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
