Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
