Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
