lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
