he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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