is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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