Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
