The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
