You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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