He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I don't want my vagina anymore.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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