He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
