is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
