I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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