We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
third nipple confirmed
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
