there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize