i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i love accidental penises.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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