smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
