Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Me too!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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