You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize