Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
