I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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