Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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