fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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