Will you blow on my dice?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize