shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
