Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
