i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
