I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
