She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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