I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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