I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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