Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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