Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
