my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We had sex on a dog bed..
I still have a little drunk in my system
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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