Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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