piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
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