that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
