I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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