i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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