You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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